Categorize Me

I will never understand the desire to be categorized with a large mass of people.

Why strive to be one of many—especially when most labels are crude approximations at best?

And yet, people cling to their group identities like lifeboats.

I see it most often with men. Maybe I should blame the algorithm for that; but some seem obsessed with how “men” are portrayed—defensive, outraged, clinging to some perceived loss of status or masculinity.

Personally, I don’t care.

I won’t waste energy defending myself against sweeping generalizations about men because the argument itself is flawed. Beyond that, how can I feel called out by a broad, negative characteristic unless it resonates with who I feel I am?

Anytime you lump millions of people into a single narrative, you’ve already said more about yourself than that group.

I understand where prejudice and stereotypes come from, but there’s an inherent ignorance in expecting human behavior to fall neatly into a box.

And yet—just as flawed as boxing others is the desire to climb into one yourself.

This obsession with “being masculine” makes no sense to me. Who decides what that means anyway? And why bend yourself to fit that mold?

You should accept who you are. 

Define who you want to be and be that person. Or at the very least, define what masculinity means to you. Don’t blindly accept what it means to others.

Who cares about being alpha? Or masculine? Or beta?

Defining yourself in these ways doesn’t guarantee acceptance—and it never will.

And you shouldn’t need that.

You should find comfort in who you are, and strive to become a better version of that person.

The only acceptance that truly matters is the kind you give yourself.

If you need the validation of a mass of strangers, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and unnecessary suffering.

Your value no longer comes from who you are—it’s outsourced to them, waiting for their judgment like some kind of verdict.

You give others control over how you value yourself.

So who gives a shit about how others perceive you?

Own the person that you are. Work to improve. Accept yourself.

And don’t waste another ounce of energy worrying about how people you’ve never met—and never will—choose to categorize you.