YOUnique

Why conform to standards others set when there is only one you in this world?

Many studies debate whether our personalities are innate or shaped by our upbringing and environment. I'm not here to settle that debate. Instead, let's focus on what makes you uniquely you.

I believe we can always find reflections of ourselves in others—whether through shared hobbies, similar values, familiar mannerisms, or common characteristics. There's a thread that connects each of us that you can discover in any person you engage with, provided both parties are open to discussing their lives while respecting their inevitable differences.

However, you are uniquely you. Nobody has had exactly the same experiences or thinks in precisely the same way you do. You might find people with remarkable similarities in certain traits, but you will never be identical to anyone else.

So why do we try to replicate others? I've previously written about "social media bloatware"—the phenomenon where people attempt to emulate successful individuals in pursuit of their own success. The irony is that each of those successful people found their own unique way to distinguish themselves.

By mirroring others instead of being true to yourself, one of two things happens: you either begin to feel a growing dissonance with what you're doing, or you fail to progress because people find more value in the original than in your imitation. This approach keeps you at a constant disadvantage, as you're perpetually reacting to what others are doing, focusing more on them than yourself—and losing what makes you unique along the way.

To be clear, I'm not suggesting you should never learn from others. I do this daily. But to do this successfully, you must allow yourself to be you. Give yourself permission to share who you are, how you think, and how you view the world. Doing this consistently over time will naturally attract people to you and set you up for greater success.

I've hindered my own success by trying to emulate others many times. In my professional life, I tried using the same call process others used, and it drained me. I would feel completely exhausted at the end of the day from the discomfort of using language that didn't align with my natural communication style.

This isn't permission to avoid things that make you uncomfortable. In fact, I would argue that being true to yourself is much harder than trying to be someone else who has accomplished what you desire.

I've experienced this on YouTube as well. Nothing feels more satisfying than creating content that resonates with my authentic self. While I want to impact others positively, I also want to bring my true self to everyone I engage with. When I've emulated others' styles or attempted to speak like people I don't connect with, it has stifled my creativity and deterred me from pursuing my goals.

Your uniqueness is a gift to the world, and others can only experience it if you're willing to be vulnerable and share it. There will be times when this vulnerability hurts you. Some people won't resonate with who you are—and that's okay! Despite how our instincts may tell us to react, it's perfectly fine for people not to connect with the person you are.

Be true to yourself, and you will not only find your people but also set yourself up for a life of fulfillment rather than one filled with internal conflict and dissonance.