Emotional Musing

I am one to try to keep emotions out of the workplace, yet they always seem to find me. 

This has been a theme throughout my life and I honestly don’t know what makes me a safe place for people. 

I wish I could articulate why. 

I’ve just always assumed it was my calm nature and the fact that I am tall, maybe even that I am very accepting of others… Who knows. 

I have heard more tales of abuse in various forms than I would ever care to share with the world. I have talked to people about their depression and suicidal tendencies. These have been people I know well and people that I am conversing with for the first time. 

To be honest, I don’t feel like I do much in these situations. Most of the time, I sit there and listen - letting them talk through whatever ailments are plaguing or have plagued their lives. I try not to offer solutions unless asked for advice, I pretty much just sit there, nodding my head and asking open-ended questions. 

I’ve never counted the amount of times someone has told me, “I have never told anybody that,” but I’ve definitely heard it a handful of times in my life and it has been interesting to hear every time. 

As I share this, I recognize that I am omitting details but these are not my stories to tell. It is not my job to detail the intimate lives of others, but to instead offer them an ear to talk through their experience. 

In my eyes, their stories are theirs and theirs alone to share. 

As I have climbed the corporate ladder, I have had many intimate conversations with my peers about their personal lives. I learn their goals, their hobbies, and what brings them joy in their lives.

I also have learned of hardships that impact them outside of work. 

I can be stoic at times and maybe this is yet another reason why I learn these details. 

“This guy shows a limited range of emotion at work, he seems stable, maybe I’ll tell him about this!” 

I typically aim to be neutral or jovial at work, lifting up and engaging with those that I work with. 

I try to limit my negativity, no matter how much I feel it, and I rarely share intimate details about my personal life. 

I’m not one to tell people when I am getting engaged or the hardships that I face as I want to work at work and live my life outside of work. 

I want to separate the outside from the inside and make work a fun environment that people enjoy showing up to. 

I seek to limit mood dampening as much as I possibly can by not bringing my outside emotions to work. 

Yet, I have had two separate people talk to me about experiences in their personal lives today alone that have left me wondering if I am misguided in my views. 

After talking to both of them about the happenings in their lives and their experiences, I feel more connected to them despite them showing emotions that I refuse to bring to the workplace. 

If I brought those same emotions to work, I would feel disruptive. Like I am ruining the vibe. 

Nobody likes a vibe killer, after all. 

Us humans are emotional creatures. While I still believe there is a WIDE set of emotions that are inappropriate to bring to the workplace, how do we know where that set stops and where the other begins?

Emotions, while trying at times, are a gift for us to be able to experience so maybe it is wrong of me to think they shouldn’t be enmeshed with the workplace.